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(Courtesy photo)
Lucy Whitehorse, right, and her sister Marie Wallace Plummer, dressed in their everyday attire.
I would like to introduce you to an incredible woman: my grandmother or, in Navajo, shimá sáni.
Her name is Lucy Eugene Yabeny Whitehorse. She is Tachii'nii (Red Running Into the Water Clan), born for the Kinlichii'nii (Red House People Clan). Her maternal grandparents are To'bahii' (Water's Edge Clan) and her paternal grandparents are Ashii'hi (Salt People Clan).
She is a strong woman who was raised during the difficult years without vehicles, indoor plumbing, nearby grocery stores, medical coverage and little family support.
This essay is my personal tribute to my grandmother because without her my entire family would not be here. Grandma in many ways is my heroine because she is intelligent, beautiful, intriguing, independent, modest, traditional, a family matriarch and an accomplished rug weaver.
Grandma was born the second oldest of 15 children in Oak Springs, Ariz., where her parents farmed.
Her siblings are Stella Mae Yabeny (deceased), Connie Yabeny Hot (deceased), Marie Yabeny Wallace Plummer, Russell E. Yabeny, Harry E. Yabeny, Tom Yabeny, Mary Ann Yabeny King, Frank Yabeny, Ray (Harrison) Yabeny, Jean Yabeny Frost, Sally Yabeny Begay, and Edison Yabeny.
Two siblings died in infancy. Her mother took guardianship of her grandson, Harlen Yabeny, and raised him as the youngest of the Yabeny children.
Lucy was born Oct. 5, 1926, but because she was born on a cornfield there are no legal documents to prove her exact birth date. According to that date of birth, she is 81 years young.
Traditional home
She was raised by her aunt, Mary Kinlicheene Nez (Redhouse), also known as Grandma Redhouse, and her parents, Ray and Ruth E. Yabeny, in a strong, traditional home.
Her parents were active members of the Native American Church at the time, which is a sacred healing ceremony in which peyote is used.
She soon learned to sing songs to the holy creator and to recite beautiful prayers. She was also taught to utilize the Navajo traditional healing ceremonies, which are conducted with all natural herbal elements. Practicing the two ceremonial rituals, she kept her mind, body, and soul healthy.
Due to a belief of Navajo "witchcraft," my grandmother's father became very ill through the sacred ceremony of practicing peyotism so they no longer practiced any healing ceremonies of the Native American Church.
Shimá sáni had a total of 11 children, 34 grandchildren, and 16 great-grandchildren.
Her children are Thomas Clani Jr., Timothy Clani, Daisy Clani Nez, Tony Whitehorse, Benson Whitehorse (deceased in infancy), Ella Mae Whitehorse (deceased), Yvonne Reeves Chee, David Paul Henderson, Mamie Yabeny Denetclaw, Evangeline Yabeny, and Roderick Yabeny.
Due to food and money being so scarce at this time, Lucy was literally forced by her mother to place the two infants (at the time) up for adoption. Yvonne was adopted by Leo and Sarah Reeves who loved and raised Yvonne as their biological daughter. David was adopted by Earl and Barbara Henderson who also treated and raised Dave as their biological son.
After her children were adopted by the two families, my grandmother felt emotional anguish for giving her two babies up for adoption.
Decades following the adoption she felt some resentment toward her mother for forcing the adoption and today she still would like to develop a forgiving relationship with her two children.
Caring for parents
Without hesitation or fear, grandma took care of her parents when they were ill. Diabetes claimed her father's life because no one was aware of what it was and how it could be controlled.
A few decades later her mother became ill and grandma became her caregiver. When her mother's health took a turn for the worse, grandma continued to stay at her mother's side until she died.
Her mother was gone and she could only turn to the aunt (Mary Redhouse) who helped raise her. She spent much time with her aunt attending squaw dances, traditional ceremonies, and spending weeks at a time together.
Grandma continued to stay close with Grandma Redhouse until she continued on the spiritual journey with the Creator this past February.
Although my grandmother is uneducated, she is very intelligent. She can predict when the weather will change from looking at the stars or how the sun rises and sets. She knows her constellations and the order of the planets. It surprises me because I studied the solar system in grade school but I don't remember the constellations or the order of the planets. Grandma knows all of that, without education.
She speaks no English, but can comprehend and understand when her grandchildren are talking to her in English. She states that when she was young other girls her age were encouraged to learn how to cook, clean and work hard to keep the home in full operation.
Grandma also taught herself how to identify her alphabets and numbers when other women her age wouldn't give themselves that opportunity. She was excited and proud to learn that the methods she used on her rugs were math related.
Traditional attire
Lucy has always been a beautiful woman. She wears her traditional attire no matter where she goes. She does not wear her moccasins but her turquoise jewelry is eye-catching.
Grandma always wears huge turquoise rings, bracelets, squash blossoms, pins, a concho belt, and long dangly earrings. Wherever she goes on or off the reservation, she receives compliments from the general public about her jewelry.
She always wore glasses and had her hair fixed in a neat and conservative style. The use of cosmetics was not always necessary for her but when she did all she used was lipstick and a powder. I cannot forget the smell of her perfume, Charisma, from Avon.
Her most interesting characteristics would be her personality because of all the difficult times that she endured she is still compassionate, patient, and understanding. She might draw her own conclusions to a bad situation but will keep quiet until asked for her opinion.
I've always known her to stay out of people's affairs because, she says, "They are old enough, they know right from wrong."
The most intriguing part of my grandmother is her past and the taboos that she was raised to know and live by. I asked her on several occasions about the books I read regarding what the Navajo's can and cannot do because of their strict beliefs or the taboos that everyone fears.
She never answered those questions but I would find out on my own. She does not speak much about her past while growing up and relationships therefore I find her a bit mysterious.
Hard work
Grandma's independence comes from her personal experience of hard work. Her father taught her to take care of everything around the house such as saddling up the mules, herding sheep, farming and harvesting crops, hauling wood, hay and water, as well as shearing sheep, cooking, cleaning, and raising her family. She did so much work and was able to weave rugs to support her family.
Shimá sáni is an accomplished rug weaver. She learned how to weave from her late mother, Ruth Yabeny, and aunt Mary Redhouse. They taught her how to weave rugs of yarn and strings, which is difficult.
She is known for weaving rugs that are approximately 10 feet in width by 15 feet in length. She sold her rugs to a woman who owned trading posts. This woman knew many people and gave my grandmother publicity for her rugs. Two rugs were displayed at the Farmington Museum for almost a year.
When word spread the rugs left the United States and toured Poland and China. In 2002, Lucy received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Southwestern Association for Indian Arts in Santa Fe. She also received a recognition award from the Polish community.
Her fame grew from a homemaker weaving rugs to articles, interviews and books printed about her "famous" rugs. The book "Trees in a Circle: The Teec Nos Pos Story" featured my grandmother, her aunt Mary Redhouse and a male weaver, Roy Kady.
Due to the natural aging process, my grandmother has limited abilities to sit on the floor and currently weaves rugs that are four feet by four and a half feet to earn money to pay bills. Her work is still detailed and appreciated.
Independent woman
Lucy is an extremely modest woman. If she needs help with difficult tasks she is unable to complete, she will try to finish without asking for assistance. When she cooks for guests or family, she won't eat until everyone has eaten.
When her income won't cover bills, she refuses to ask anybody else for money. She doesn't want others to know her business, so she pawns jewelry to be able to purchase what she needs.
I describe her as the family matriarch because she was born the second oldest of 15 children and literally helped raise her siblings from birth. She upholds a certain position with the family because she is loved and respected. She carried out the responsibilities of a mother such as providing food, shelter and clothing for her children and siblings.
When her children, grandchildren or other family members needed money she gave it to them without hesitation or expecting to be paid back. When family wants to talk to someone, she is there with her sympathetic ear and her understanding heart.
Once her children married, she continued to help them with what she was able to provide. Since the death of their mother few of her siblings view her as their mother and will visit to vent some issues or to be there to enlighten her day.
Like any other family there are some siblings who want nothing to do with her because she is an elder and is uneducated - in a sense they either envy her or are ashamed of her.
I am proud to call her my grandmother.
I admire grandma's strength because she has endured many challenges throughout her lifetime. Among some challenges were being a single parent raising 11 children on her own. She was forced by her mother to put two up for adoption shortly after their birth and lost one during infancy.
When I suddenly became a single parent, talking to my mother and grandmother gave me the strength to move on with my son.
Overcoming abuse
One challenge she experienced was being a victim of domestic violence. Her ex-husband would beat her until she was heavily bruised but she continued to take care of her children. It was a blessing when he left her for another woman.
As a mother there was no time to feel sorry for herself or her situation. She quickly recovered from the abuse and continued her life. I respect her because it takes great courage to overcome physical and mental abuse.
I could say more about what a wonderful woman my grandmother is, but the important thing that I want to share is everyone needs to cherish their elders because they are overflowing with wisdom. Learn from them, love them and help them.
Grandmothers were mothers and without them we would not be here to walk and talk. Remember our elders may be our past but they are a key into the past that not everyone thinks about. They could teach younger generations to be responsible but they are constantly overlooked, neglected, ignored and disrespected.
I love my grandmother and cherish every minute that I have with her because I understand that one morning I could wake up to realize that she is no longer here for the family.
Nelson is a student at San Juan College majoring in nursing.
Comment on this story!
11 comments so far (post your own)i truely understand and respect all elders, as i had my grandmother (grannyoakz). being close to both my grannyoakz and nali who both passed im proud to be part of them. yes, it is hard to accept them past on, but to know they are in a better place giving each and everyone of us guidance. all elders should be treated w/ honor and respect. beleive in their wisdoms. keep them close to you because its the precious gift given. peaceout.
Thank you for writing this essay. It's really nice to see stories like these about our elders, they are far and between. I never had a chance to make or share any memories of my grandmothers. But the ones that we have or had are the heart of our families too. Good luck in your travels and God Bless u and ur love ones!! kudos
That was a very nice story you shared with us all. I never knew my grandpa. My grandma who i love very dearly is a very strong women. She has taught me to be very generous, not to be stubborn, friendly and go out and enjoy life. I am applauding all the Native American Women who are strong and I respect each and everyone of you.
Thank you for sharing your story. It has touched my heart and reminded me alot of my late grandma and mother as well. It's a blessing that our mothers and grandmothers has taught us many great teachings about living a good life and endurance. I myself have lost both my mother/grandmother. They will always be in our hearts and minds. Their memory lives on forever. Please to the new generations "love your mothers/grandparents and help them everyday, don't take them for granted".
beautiful story! Reminded me of my own parents, one of whom passed the century mark. They were excellent grandparents and role models for my children. Whenever I spoke of them, I always used the term "not formally schooled" instead of uneducated. I say this because they were educated, by life itself, not by school books.
I think this article was awesome. She has always been a strong, independent woman. I have admired her since I've met her.. She will always be a part of our lives and we love her from chandler with all our hearts.. Grandparents are a big part of our lives and they are always cherished.
That was a very interesting story. It is a blessing to those family who still have their grandmothers and grandfathers with them, I lost my grandmother a couple of years agos and miss her dearly. The last years of her life she lived in a nusing home and she was cared for by very special and caring nurses and CNA,s and the doctors. I thank them for the hard work they do for the special care they give when families are not available to care for their loved ones at home. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
That was the real great, Because all grandmothers are the key in so many ways and their the are the heart of family. With out them were nothing.
Awesome!! Throughout the story..this is exactly how I feel about my grandmothers and grandfathers..they are very unigue and strong individuals..it great to listen to them and have a better understanding to life...
thank you for the wonderful story!!!
OMG! u said all! very touchin' its very important that we do what we can for our elders! They are the key to understanding life...an living well!
Wow! That was an awesome story about your Grandmother. Reading it reminded me of my Grandmother, thanks for that! It's true that we need to remember & cherish our elders. Like you said, once their gone their gone. Again thank you for the story. I wish nothing but the best of luck to you in your education.