Comedian tells his story of depression, suicide

Navajo comedian Pax Harvey took the stage June 25 but he was far from funny as he described the dark core of depression that grew from the alcoholism and domestic violence he witnessed throughout his young years.

The occasion was the 2010 Suicide Awareness Conference, hosted by Miss Navajo Nation Tashina C. Nelson at the Navajo Nation Museum.

At the conclusion of the daylong event, Nelson, whose mission is to bring suicide out of the shadows of Navajo society and into some hopefully therapeutic light, invited Harvey to speak about his own brush with suicide.

When he was 9, his father died in a DWI accident. Far from rallying around the family, neighbors and relatives in Tsaile, Ariz., he laid the blame on his mother, Harvey recounted. She'd driven her man to drink, they said.

The social pressure became so great that the family was forced to move away, splintering in the process. Now raising four kids on her own, his mother was overwhelmed emotionally and financially, so it was arranged for Pax to live with an aunt in Tucson.

"My aunt said she would take care of me but she spent a lot of her time partying," Harvey recalled.

In an incident he will never forget, the young boy was sexually molested by some of his aunt's fellow partygoers.

In time, his fear, anger and confusion were boiling over to the point that, as he put it, "I just didn't care anymore."

Caring adults around him - teachers, counselors, some family members - noticed the change, Harvey said, and some tried to help him. But something always seemed to happen to break the fragile bond of trust, and his feelings of betrayal would worsen.

Harvey managed to get past his school years. He met a girl and fell in love, and married her. They had two kids. But the wounds of his earlier years were deep, and he could not shake the anger and depression that dogged him.

"I was spending a lot of time with my family, my wife and my kids," he said.

At the same time, he was beginning to think of himself in the past tense.

"I just wanted them to remember me and remembered that I loved them," he said. "I wanted my kids to remember that I was a loving father."

He had tried to leave the alcohol and drugs behind, but was still drinking. He finally arrived at the moment when he pointed a loaded handgun to his temple, ready to pull the trigger.

But then, Harvey said, "I heard this voice. This voice said, 'Don't do it. Don't do it, shiyáázh."

That voice was his father's, begging him and saying that he had killed himself. It wasn't an accident, that fatal auto accident all those years ago. It was suicide.

From that point on Harvey vowed he would never again think of destroying himself. He would continue moving forward. He would live, if only to make sure his own kids did not lose their daddy.

He gave his life to God and began to heal, he said.

"This is something that my family doesn't know about," Harvey said. "Some knew but they didn't want to talk about it. I talk about it now because it helps me heal. I was asked to speak for a social service gathering in Albuquerque and that was when I shared this story for the first time."

His life is now a journey to heal, and he believes laughter is the best medicine.

A couple of hours after sharing his personal story with the conference attendees, Harvey put that belief into practice during the "Healing Through Laughter" comedy show, also held at the Navajo Nation Museum.

Like the conference, the show attracted a sparse crowd - unfortunate, considering the charm of the performances.

Harvey and actor/comedian Tatanka Means both performed.

Means, originally from Chinle, opened the night with jokes that seemed more oriented to the younger children in the audience. His still-wet-behind-the-ears humor, and his natural boyish charm, worked together to overcome the weak spots in his monologue.

And he had moments that did spark laughter, like when he mocked his first experience sharing a hotel room with colleague and mentor Ernest Tsosie III, who was in the audience enjoying the show with his wife and kids.

The best part of Means' routine was the close, when he spoofed hyperkinetic exercise guru Richard Simmons. Demonstrating the fictional "Richard Simmons Yazzie's Dance Aerobics," Means performed a dance medley that included jingle dress, Navajo basket, and fancy shawl dancing, triggering a crescendo of laughter from the audience.

The giggles had hardly subsided when Harvey came on, and his performance was a one-two punch with an uppercut to knock you senseless with laughter.

Some of his best moments took place in Navajo, as when he demonstrated how people speak Navajo differently depending on social status.

The bit that drew the loudest laughter was Harvey's depiction of two Navajo men talking, with one pretending to understand while the other is speaking in a monotone that sounds like gibberish.

If you didn't catch them at the museum, Harvey and Means can be seen in the "49 Laughs Comedy Tour" along with James Junes and Ernest Tsosie III in solo performances. In addition to stand-up comedy, the funnymen are available to MC events and to conduct motivational speaking and workshops.

To contact Miss Navajo about hosting a workshop on suicide prevention, call 928-871-6379.

To book the comedians, visit www.49laughs.com, call Ernie Tsosie at 505-979-2302, or call Pax Harvey at 928-863-9702.

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