Walking in their footsteps: Wife of 2020 murder victim visits site of shooting

SAWMILL, Ariz.

It has taken 21 months for Faye Reagan to lay her husband to rest for a second time.

On Friday, she did it on the side of the dirt road where his body and his brother’s were found.

The bodies of Matthew and Philip Reagan were found on March 21, 2020, about two miles west of the Sawmill Express Convenience store.

According to the FBI, the brothers from Cleveland were shot to death. The FBI is offering a $10,000 reward for information leading to an arrest and conviction of the person or people responsible for the deaths.

For Faye Reagan, her journey to the reservation – where her husband took his last breath along a desolate dirt road – was more about showing her five sons that forgiveness, not a hardened heart, was more important for healing.

Her journey also helped her see what Matt and Phil last saw when they took the road through Sawmill, thinking it was a shortcut to Spider Rock in Canyon de Chelly.

The Apache County Sheriff’s Office and Criminal Investigators from Window Rock escorted Faye and her aunt, Gail Wurstner, to where a passerby found the bodies.

She parked about 100 yards away and slowly got out of the rental, took two crosses with their names etched into them, and began walking to the site.

Faye became emotional as she tightly held onto the two crosses. She walked to the spot where police told her their bodies were found. She stood silently and began to cry as she occasionally looked up at the sky.

Last time she saw husband

It was 21 months ago she last saw her husband, who was helping his brother move to California, where he had found a job. Throughout their trip, she said Matt constantly sent pictures of their journey.

But when they got into New Mexico, cell service became sporadic, even more so as they got closer to Gallup. An image of a passing train taken somewhere near Thoreau was the last image sent by him.

When she arrived in Sawmill, she said she understood why they might have chosen the route. She understood why Matt might have chosen the route that would take them to Spider Rock in Canyon de Chelly. And with no cell service, she also understood why she could not contact them.

“They saw this,” she said, referring to the pine trees that surround Sawmill. “It’s beautiful, and they, especially Matt, would have loved it. They were so happy, I know it, seeing the landscape and the warm sun dance on the rocks.”

For the last 21 months, Faye said, she has been showing her sons the importance of dealing with trauma and loss. The loss of their father, who called his sons his legacy, has been hard for them.

And while anger and sadness were never far away, so too was a prayer.

In Sawmill, Faye did just that: she prayed.

She recited the rosary and St. Patrick’s 6th and 7th Lorica before placing the crosses into the ground. She said she chose the Lorica because it made her think of them as they walked toward the store.

“They were surrounded by God’s love and protection,” she said.

While her sons continued to grieve in their own way, Lucas, the oldest son, who turns 12 in January, has begun to learn the Navajo language, she said.

“He said he isn’t doing well,” Faye said, adding that his school was using Duolingo, a free computer software.

Lucas said the first phrase he learned was, ‘Do you have an orange?’”

In addition, she said she’s trying to teach him about the Navajo Code Talkers and their contributions to World War II.

Travelling nearly 1,800 miles

On Friday, after traveling nearly 1,800 miles, Faye quietly stood on the dirt road. She carried with her all of her children’s pains and hopes as she placed the crosses into the ground.

“I want to honor them. I want people to go by and not forget (that) two men were left to die on the road, discarded like trash,” Faye said. “I don’t want them to be forgotten, or their story.”

Faye remembers Matt, 39, as a family man who made time for his sons and her. He frequently traveled for his work as a mechanical engineer.

Phil, 29, was 10 years younger than Matt. He was more of a little brother to Faye since she met him when he was only about 7 years old.

Phil had accepted a job at the Montecito Sequoia Lodge, located on the Sequoia National Forest in Central California, and was planning to move. He had been a maintenance man at an apartment complex.

Being the older brother, Matt wanted to help his younger brother move, Faye recalled. A few days before the brothers were to leave, they had dinner at their home.

Faye said she remembered Phil being anxious about his move. It was his first time moving away from the state he grew up in. Before his departure, Phil spent the day with his mother and younger brother. He spent the night at Matt’s home, where they left bright and early on the morning of March 19. It was California or bust.

Faye tries not to let the “what ifs” keep her up late into the night. She tries not to relive the two police officers who came knocking on her door to tell her the life-changing news.

But it’s not easy for her. She talks about her worries and uneasy feelings before and up to the morning Matt and Phil left as if it could somehow reverse their terrible loss, which made her trip to Sawmill even more important for her.

Thanks to law enforcement

She says she can’t thank the law enforcement enough, specifically, the Apache County Sheriff’s Office and the Window Rock Criminal Investigations.

She does not say too much about the FBI, which is leading the investigation into the brothers’ murders, except that if she could somehow “fix the system,” she’d make the bureaucratic tape that seems to keep them from properly doing their jobs go away.

Still, she said they are a crucial part of the system that’ll help her and her sons get justice.

In October of last year, the FBI, the Navajo Nation Police, and the Apache County Sheriff’s Office went to Sawmill to execute warrants for wanted felons. They also went there to search for information about the murders. Their investigations did not reveal any new details.

In March of this year, Sean Kaul, special agent in charge of the FBI Phoenix field office, Navajo Nation Police Chief Phillip Francisco, and Apache County Sheriff Joseph Dedman Jr., asked the public in a press release to reach out to them with any information they might have.

“The FBI and our law enforcement partners remain committed to solving this case,” Kaul stated. “We will continue to dedicate all available resources to follow every lead and use all investigative capabilities to bring justice to the victims’ families and the tribal communities we serve.”

When her sons returned home on Sunday, Faye said they got out of the van and ran to her, showering her with kisses.

They had dinner while catching up on all the fun they’ve been having while she was away. She spent the remainder of their evening going through the photos she took and did her best to answer any questions they had.

She saw how much they were missing their “daddy,” said Faye.

“It’s hard to watch them grieve and see how the grief expresses itself, especially with them being so young,” she said. “They really impress me with how articulate, strong, and honest they are about missing their daddy and Uncle Phil.”

Shepherding sons through grief

Faye said she wants to “shepherd” them through their grief as best as she can.

“I want to make sure this horrific act and tragic loss doesn’t harden them, their hearts, and that they see all the good in the world around them,” Faye said. “The trip definitely showed that to me.”

One day she would like to complete the journey to Spider Rock for Matt and Phil.

Rather than walk away with the horrible tragedies that unfolded on the side of the dirt road, Faye said she wanted to take back with her the beauty of the reservation, the beauty Matt saw.

“This was like a lightning strike. This is just tragic and horrible,” she said on Friday. “I want to take back to them to show them that it’s still beautiful, it’s still safe, to show them I can come home.”

Faye said she hopes someone will come forward with any information about the murders, so she and her sons can find some closure and continue healing.

“I got to walk in their footsteps, in a beautiful scenic place. Like the Bob Dylan song, ‘He died in his footsteps with his head held high walking down the highway with his brother in peace,’” she said.

Anyone with information can call the FBI at 623-466-1999, the Navajo Department of Criminal Investigations at 928-871-7519, or the Apache County Sheriff’s Office at 800-352-1850. Tips can also be sent to tips.fbi.gov.

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