From the brink of death to hope: Nolan’s journey to recovery

By Donovan Quintero
Special to the Times

SHOW LOW, Ariz. — Nolan sits on a couch with a remote in hand, quietly watching TV as if not a problem in the world irks him.

One might mistake the 53-year-old Ganado, Arizona, native for someone who has never tasted alcohol. Yet, the truth is far more complex.

In that moment, it would be hard to see that only a few months ago, he faced a moment that could have easily marked the end of his life.

Under the crushing weight of alcohol addiction, a doctor told him that binge drinkers die violently and alone.

He was staying at a sober-living home for meth addiction in Phoenix when he decided it was not working for him.

“I was in a sober living home for a while, but it wasn’t that productive for me. So, I left to catch the bus back to Gallup,” he said. “But before I did that, I bought two bottles of liquor, drinking, blacked out and I was almost run over by a city bus.”
When he returned to the reservation, he couldn’t believe he was almost killed by a bus because of his drinking.

It was then he sought help at Sage Memorial Hospital in Ganado where he was told by a social worker and an emergency doctor a stark reality about the path he was taking with his chronic alcohol usage.

He knew stumbling into the path of an oncoming bus in a drunken stupor was a chilling testament to the depth of his struggle. What should have been a fatal encounter turned into a miraculous second chance—a catalyst for profound change.

Disbelief and gratitude

On Aug. 15, four months into his recovery at Beacon Treatment Center in Show Low, Arizona, where he’s been since that moment that nearly took his life, Nolan reflects on his journey with a mix of disbelief and gratitude.

Nolan, 53, who only gave his first name due to the treatment center’s confidentiality policy, said he was told once by a doctor that binge drinkers die violently and alone.

He explained he was staying at a sober-living home for meth addiction in Phoenix when he decided it was not working for him.“I was in a sober living home for a while, but it wasn’t that productive for me. So, I left to catch the bus back to Gallup,” Nolan said.

“But before I did that, I bought two bottles of liquor, drinking, blacked out and I was almost run over by a city bus.”

When he returned to the reservation, he couldn’t believe he was almost killed by a bus because of his drinking.

When he sought help at Sage Memorial Hospital, a P.L. 93-638 health facility, in Ganado, he was told by a social worker and an emergency doctor, who painted a stark reality into his mind.

“A doctor told me one time, ‘Yeah, you’re a binge drinker. Binge drinkers die alone. They die violently. They’re hit by cars, they’re murdered.’ And when he told me that I thought to myself, ‘That would never happen to me. Never, I’m too careful.’ And yet, it almost happened to me. I said, ‘I need to get my life under control,’” Nolan said after completing his 17-mile journey. “So, I came back up here to the reservation, healed up.”

When he decided to leave the sober-living home, the 90-day program had stretched into nine months. Nevertheless, he said he felt confident enough to begin a meth-free life. Then alcohol came into his life.

“I felt confident enough to come out here again and not use, but I replaced that with alcohol, and it nearly cost me my life,” Nolan said. So, I told myself, ‘I need to do something. If I wanted to continue to live.’ I don’t want to be a statistic, so that’s why I’m at Beacon for alcohol.”

Complex interplay

Nolan said he believes he has no issues with methamphetamine anymore and is working on his alcohol problem.

Alcohol Use Disorder, the term IHS uses to describe alcoholism, is extremely complicated in terms of what contributes to it. Such as environmental factors, certain kinds of genetic factors, and social factors. All of those in combination, can make a person more or less vulnerable to substance use. Because of how complicated the causes of alcohol use disorder are, treatment needs to have options for people who drink alcohol.

Particularly in an environmental context where a person might be really struggling with finances and so all of this can be a complex interplay. For treatment to have a high success rate, needs to involve a combination of things.

Myron Eriacho, who is an outreach specialist and facilitator at Beacon Treatment Center, said that giving a person a successful chance to combat their addictions would involve a combination of both medications to help with cravings and counseling, whether it’s for depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Eriacho also conducts sweat lodges and talking circles at the treatment center.

“This provides the opportunity for clients to heal spiritually and bring back to their self-identity as Native spiritual warriors,” he said.

Native communities far exceed the national average

Recidivism rates for Native American men are astoundingly high, according to the Indian Health Service. Alcohol, substance use, mental health disorders, suicide, violence, and behavior-related morbidity and mortality rates in Indigenous communities far exceed the national average. Studies show disproportionately high rates of mental health issues like suicide, violence, and substance abuse among Indigenous populations. This disparity leads to significantly more psychological distress reported by Indigenous individuals—2.5 times higher than the general population within a month.

Indigenous communities have the highest rates of suicide among any minority group in the U.S., with rates on the rise since 2003, IHS cites. Additionally, they experience high rates of substance use disorder involving both illicit drugs and alcohol. Between 2016 and 2020, they faced significantly higher rates of alcohol-related deaths — 519 per 100,000 — compared to the rest of the U.S. population — 12 per 100,000.

Nolan’s journey is not just a personal battle; it represents the ongoing fight against addiction faced by many. With a month remaining in his treatment program, he is determined to unlearn the habits that led him to that near-fatal day. He acknowledges the weight of the past five months, describing them as “one miracle after another.” Each day of sobriety feels like a step away from the darkness that once enveloped him.

While he asserts his newfound strength has given him a chance for a better life and a chance to become a pillar for his community within the next five years, he must not forget addiction is always just one drink away, one snort away.

“I gotta let them know my boundaries,” he explains of what family and friends must respect. “They can stop by as long as they don’t bring no alcohol or drugs or be under the influence. Those are the boundaries I’ve set, and I need to reinforce them all the time. I have to consider boundaries that I never thought of.”

A life of struggle

Like many in his community, Nolan has faced obstacles that contributed to his struggles with addiction. By the time he reached adulthood, substance use had become a coping mechanism for pain and trauma both seen and unseen.

Over the years, Nolan struggled to maintain relationships, jobs, and even a sense of self-worth.

“It became a cycle of drinking, regret, and then more drinking,” he adds somberly.

His relationship with alcohol spiraled downward, leading to destructive behaviors.

“I started using marijuana, methamphetamine, fentanyl, heroin, and alcohol, throughout the time, and I lost contact with reality,” Nolan said. “I know there were times when I stayed up eleven to twelve days with no sleep, and I started to hallucinate. I remember one instance my neighbor said she saw me through the window talking to myself like somebody was sitting beside me. That’s how bad the hallucination was. I mean, I could feel it. I could smell it; I don’t know if my senses were fried. They were all mixed up.”

On a particular drinking binge in Gallup, he said he was admitted to Gallup Indian Medical Center as a John Doe.

“I (overdosed) a couple of times, two times actually, and once I was in the hospital for three days with no name at Gallup Indian Medical Center, I was in the hospital three days with no name. Nobody knew me. They didn’t know what drugs I took. They couldn’t administer anything. It just happens that somebody said my name and I heard it, and I woke up, and me, still being an addict wanted to leave right then and there,” Nolan remembers.

At first, the hospital wouldn’t allow him to leave, he said, but only after threatening the doctors with them holding him against his will, did they release him after signing some paperwork.

“I signed it, and he said, ‘You’re free to go.’ And as soon as I got out of bed, I almost fell because of my muscles from three days in a coma. I guess I was in a coma,” he said.

Perhaps most people might have considered an overdose as a wake-up call but for Nolan.

“Even after that, I walked down to the liquor store and I bought myself a fifth of whiskey,” he said.

A turning point

It was in those hospital walls that Nolan realized he needed help. Encouraged by family and friends, he made the brave decision to enter the Beacon Treatment Center, seeking not just recovery but a renewed sense of hope. This decision marked a pivotal moment in his life—a turning point that Nolan describes as a “rebirth.”

At Beacon, Nolan was introduced to a structured environment that provided the support he desperately needed. The staff, trained in addiction recovery, helped him navigate the complexities of his situation.

“They taught me how to recognize triggers and cope without reaching for a drink,” he shares. “It was hard work, but I knew it was necessary.”

In therapy sessions, Nolan said he began to confront the demons of his past. He learned about the importance of setting boundaries—not just with others but with himself.

“I had to learn to say no, to protect my peace,” he explains. “It was a lesson in self-love that I had never fully understood before.”

He admits he probably won’t go back to Ganado because there are too many reasons there that might get him to relapse.

“If I was to go back on the reservation, the only thing that would have changed on the reservation was me, everybody’s still out there, still drinking, drugging, committing crimes, and I don’t want to go back to that,” he said.

After he completes his treatment, he’s considering living in Show Low or moving to Phoenix.

“So, I can start over, so to speak, without those negative influences. I’m doing this to save my life, literally save my life. So that’s how I look at it. If I drink, I’m going to die. If I use drugs, I’m going to die,” Nolan said. “That’s how I look at it because it nearly happened. I’ve blacked out, and almost got run over.”

Building a new future

Now, as his treatment draws closer to its conclusion, Nolan reflects on how his outlook has changed.

“When I came here, I was homeless, and being here allows me to save some money, which I’m which I’m doing right now,” he said.

When he finishes his treatment, he anticipates he’ll have a good amount to start with.

“I’ll have something like fifteen hundred bucks saved up. I’m gonna use that for an apartment, for an application fee. But before I do that, I got to open up a bank account, I got to get a job, and get a background check. That’s gonna cost me a little bit of money,” said Nolan.

He speaks of plans that once felt impossible: pursuing a career, rebuilding relationships, and maybe even helping others who find themselves in similar situations. With one month left at Beacon, Nolan is focusing on transitioning back into society.

“It’s about building a routine that supports my sobriety,” he explains. “I want to engage in activities that uplift me, not pull me back down.”

Another thing he wants to do is fix his broken relationships.

“My drug addiction, my meth addiction, alcohol addiction, my family didn’t want me around didn’t want me around them because I stole things from them, I lied to them, I used in their house, drinking their house, and being here made me realize that,” he remembered. “Man, I’ve done a lot of things to hurt relationships with my family, with my friends, coworkers, the community members. So, I’m in the process of, how would you say, to repair those relationships or make amends to them, to restore those relationships, improve my reputation.”

A message of hope

Nolan said he knows his recovery is an ongoing journey—one filled with challenges but also abundant in possibilities.

“I still consider myself an alcoholic,” he notes candidly. “I know a lot of people, they see me out there on the street, high or drunk, you know. But now that’s all changed, I have a lot of a lot of guilt about the things I have done, a lot of shame. I’d like to reconcile these relationships with people. There’s a few people that stuck by me the whole time.”

Nolan doesn’t know exactly when he completes his treatment, but he knows it’s sometime in October. He also knows he has some work if he’s to stay on a sober path.

“In order for me to stay sober, I got to continue to go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), go to behavioral health, and ask them for counseling. I got to go see a therapist. I got to be involved in the community. I got to be a pillar of the community,” he said.
Anyone who might be thinking of getting help with their addictions can call Beacon Treatment Center at 928-251-2785, or their nearest hospital.

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